4 Things that Make Your Man Panic during Sex. Part I

The two of you are playing doctor. You're kissing his Adam's apple, kneading his bread basket, when all of a sudden red lights flash, a buzzer sounds, and he bolts for the living room couch! What happened? What had gone wrong? Chances are, you've inadvertently hit his panic button!

Although men may lead you to believe that they can handle anything, the truth is, even the biggest, strongest man can turn into a trembling, gurgling puddle of anxiety given the right circumstances. And nowhere is a man more likely to have a meltdown than in the midst of having sex. Men panic whenever something threatens their sense of self "and most men's self-concept is rooted in their sex life," explains a sex therapist. Put another way, "Guys freak out about certain sexual things because basically they're all insecure." That's why all it takes is one innocent move on the woman's part to strike him the wrong way, and suddenly he snaps out of that cozy let's-get-it-on mood and starts acting like he's being interrogated in a police room.

So to spare you, and him, those awkward "don't" moments, some experts as well as sometimes-spookable guys disclose what makes men skirmish in the sack.

1. You don't give him a feedback

Unless his mom is in the next room, guys like to hear a few words, or sounds, of encouragement during sex. So when you suddenly space out in the midst of a bedroom bout, wondering whether you had left the toaster on, your guy may interpret your silence as a sign that he's just not cutting it. "Sometimes my girlfriend suddenly goes quiet on me, and I'm certain I'm doing the whole thing wrong," confides Matt, 35, a writer. "My mind starts swimming with whys and hows, and I totally lose the mood." Other guys get sexually scared when their partner stops moving. "Sometimes we'll be in the heat of the moment and I think she's, really into it, when she just suddenly stops moving," says Alec, 37, a musician. "Then I panic, and just want to get it over with."

Strange but true: Sometimes it's what you don't do that can send your guy into a total tailspin. "Many men have tremendous fears about being able to adequately satisfy a woman," says an expert. "So if he isn't getting enough feedback that the stimulation he's providing is successful, he'll panic." The best way to keep him from doing so? Just be yourself. If you like something he does, pass on your pleasure with a moan or purr. If noisemaking isn't your style, just amp up those hot movements of yours instead. That'll keep his ego adequately stoked.